By Jack Ransom - November 6, 2024
Not to be confused with the instantly forgettable, Dwayne Johnson starring streaming vehicle Red Notice. After Santa Claus (code name: Red One) (J.K. Simmons) is kidnapped, the North Pole’s Head of Security (Dwayne Johnson) must team up with the world’s most infamous bounty hunter (Chris Evans) in a globe-trotting, action packed mission to save Christmas.
When the trailer for this dropped earlier this year, many collectively agreed that it looked like one the most ‘streaming original’ blockbuster actioner’s of all time: an absurd budget, play-it-safe cast and premise, with heaps of CGI goofiness. This is not surprising as prior to its year long strike inflicted delay this was originally set to be an Amazon Prime exclusive and honestly it's completely understandable, as this is the definition of disposable background Christmas Day viewing when everyone is tired, tipsy, opening presents or recovering from their roast dinner.
What’s frustrating is that there are some genuinely interesting concepts on display, especially when it comes to potential world building, however everything just feels so underdeveloped. Abbreviations, code names, terminology and expository dumps are thrown at the viewer with brief clarification and are swiftly moved away from even as they begin to peak interest. The most damning example of this is MORA (Mythological Oversight and Restoration Authority) - essentially S.H.I.E.L.D of this universe, with a brief cameo from The Headless Horseman being arrested, of which genuinely is an intriguing idea… shame they literally do nothing for the rest of the film. Everything else is basically what you will have seen before a million times (and the majority of Johnson’s filmography).
I am so unbelievably tired of the ‘buddy comedy’ schtick, yes, Chris Evans and Dwayne Johnson don’t get along at first. They bicker, deliver lame insults and then ready for the third act, the “I guess you aren’t so bad.” moment drops. The villain's motivations are snooze-inducing and any attempts at emotional beats are eye-rolling to laugh-inducing. I will say, at least the plot is consistently structured in a video game-like way as Drift (Johnson) and O’Malley (Evans), track down St. Nick.
There was a $250 million budget on this one. Quarter of a billion bucks! Where did it go? Certainly not on the screen that's for sure. This is genuinely one of the most fake looking cinematic releases I have seen at times. There is a sequence on a tropical beach that had me simultaneously baffled and irritated at how lacking in flair and cinematic quality it presented, with some truly disturbing rubber body CGI and a shrinking Dwayne Johnson vs. a snowman, the sequence where ‘Red One’ is kidnapped is essentially an extended video-game set piece and the finale set piece is an absolute mess of snow, rain, wind, blaring Christmas lights and CGI schlock.
The action set pieces are simply just dull overall, which is a shame as director Jake Kasdan helmed both the decent Jumanji sequels, both of which provided fun CGI heavy set pieces. The lighting is consistently poor: either being underlit to the point you will be squinting to see what is going on or over lit to garish, advert like quality as characters stand around like stoic action figures in the frame due to being swamped in green screen backdrops. Some of the set designs and costumes are commendable (especially the North Pole base of operations). Krampus’ homestead is clearly influenced by the Mos Eisley Cantina, but due to the lighting it mostly looks like a bizarre Halloween party.
You will have seen all these characters before and with stronger arcs, motives and personality. Dwayne Johnson brings his tried and true formula of frowning and smirking between utterly emotionless line deliveries. Chris Evans at least is more charismatic, but his character is incredibly bland, apparently knows John Wick level fight moves and is given no emotional pathos or substantial reaction to meeting the actual Santa Claus, when it is prominently established that as a child he completely disregarded the notion of Christmas magic in its entirety. J.K. Simmons captures the good nature of the iconic role of Santa, Lucy Liu, is unfortunately mostly reduced to appearing on video chat to Johnson and Kiernan Shipka is clearly having fun hamming it up as the witch Gryla.
For many, Red One will no doubt be another inoffensive, forgettable yet decent action adventure to pass the time. However, I honestly think that these huge budgeted, formulaic and unfunny romps are just collapsing under their own weight. A handful of interesting ideas and a couple of chuckles from some of the enthusiastic performances can’t save the film from its eye-rolling script, uninspired action, lacklustre CGI, garish visuals and clashing tones. This film itself belongs on the naughty list.
Red One is out now in UK cinemas
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